Uncontrolled drinking = alien invasion?

Saturday night was a very fun night. It was the kind of night that when I look back on it I'd compare it to a very fine silk blouse, with a very pesky stain right in the middle of it. It's the kind of blouse that you love and would want to wear everyday, that is if it weren't for that pesky stain. The pesky stain on this evening is a woman who was so drunk that she was outright belligerent.

I made two mistakes that evening. The first mistake started on our way over to our friends house, and continued on our way to West Hollywood, and then ultimately continued at the restaurant and even the club where we ended up. That mistake was drinking. No, not alcohol, but water and Coke. I drink a lot of liquids through out the day, and even more so when I know I'll be consuming alcohol that evening. I'm particularly fond of a brand of bottled water called SmartWater, and I drank a 1 liter bottle on our way to the restaurant. At the restaurant I had two glasses of water and 2 cokes. Even when we got to the club I decided to take it easy on the first drink. I had the bartender put some raspberry vodka in some sprite and add a squeeze of lime. Mistake number one, I consumed a lot of liquid prior to dancing.

The second mistake was a small series of mistakes in dealing with my glasses. I can handle a couple hours without them, my eyes just get tired, so I shouldn't have worn them into the club. I then topped that off when I took them off while dancing. Dancing with my glasses on isn't normally a problem, but Kristen was just so darn cute, and I wanted to give her a kiss. I decided to take my glasses off, because when you're bouncing up and down like a kid in a bounce house and calling that dancing, moving in for a kiss with glasses on is a recipe for pain for the target of your kiss. I took my glasses off and hooked them on my dress, in the middle of the dress in the spot that often shows off a womans ample bosoms, or in my case, my less than ample bosoms. Kristen and I kissed, and it was life affirming the room span and the whole nine yards. Ok so it was just a kiss, but we were having fun, it didn't need to be one of those movie moments.

Everything caught up with me maybe twenty minutes or so later when I realized I had to pee. I excused myself and made my way to the restroom, which was packed. There were only two stalls and there were four women in front of me. The four women were clearly drunk. One of them was easily the loudest person I have encountered in a very long time. The two stalls opened up at almost exactly the same time. To my luck the four drunk women filed into a single stall. I entered the free stall, latched the door, hung my clutch up on the hook, checked my phone and my glasses were still in place and then finally, relief!

The four women were either olympic urination sprinters, or I'm crazy slow. They came out just after I did, four flushes to my one. I'm at one of the two sinks washing my hands when the extraordinarily loud lady hits me in the back really hard, causing me to lunge forward catching myself just before I hit the mirror with my head. Then she proceeded to push the bathroom attendant over, and fling her tray of towels, and all sorts of cleaning products all over the bathroom. This woman was beyond drunk, she was officially belligerent. She was yelling at me and the bathroom attendant for being in her her way. The lady was so loud that she didn't even hear the bathroom attendant call security in. I dried my hands and got out of there. As I was leaving, security came in an escorted her out of the club.

It wasn't until I got back out to the dance floor that I realized something had gone missing. Sure my back was a little sore from where I was hit, but something didn't feel right. I immediately grabbed my chest, only to feel that my glasses were no longer there. I ran back to the restroom, my partner Kristen following closely behind me. The stall I was in opened and I checked it, no glasses. I told the bathroom attendant what had happened and she helped us look. Nothing, my glasses were gone. I talked to security, they told me to call back the next day because they do a sweep of the club after hours looking for lost items. I was able to salvage the night at least. I didn't let the loss of my glasses ruin my night.

I called the club the next afternoon. By this time my eyes were hurting because I had gone the entire day without my glasses. I was so flustered recalling the events that I said it happened, yesterday April fourth. Ooops, I said April, not June! Argh! It's so frustrating because there were any number of decisions that I could have personally made that would have led to a different path than that night took. I could have left the glasses in the car. Sure the car could have gotten stolen and I still wouldn't have my glasses, but at least I wouldn't have lost them while they were in my posession. But I'm not going to focus on what I could have done differently, a person could go crazy thinking about that stuff. Instead I'll look at what led up to me getting knocked over in the first place, uncontrolled drinking.

I understand the allure of consuming alcohol. It make me feel really really good, and I know it does that a lot of people as well. I also know that I can feel it when I've had too much, that oh so pleasant feeling fades quickly. There's a difference between being drunk, and being shitfaced. The woman I encountered was two steps beyond shitfaced. What I'd really like to know is why the hell would someone want to keep drinking after they've hit the shitfaced mark? It really wouldn't surprise me if this woman got alcohol poisoning that night. And where the hell was security before she went to the bathroom. I know it's a loud club and everything, but if she was that bad in the bathroom, I can only imagine her up at the bar or on the dance floor. Where was security then? What the hell makes her think that just she was so fucking entitled to washing her hands first that she had to knock over two people just to get to an open sink. Some people just have absolutely no respect for anything, and that makes me really really sad. That lady is the kind of person who would run someone over with her car and then bitch about them leaving a dent. It makes me really sad to know there are a lot of people out there like this woman. Whats worse is that all they have to do is exercise a little self restraint. The world really would be a better place.

My true sentiments were echoed in the movie Men in Black. Agent Kay was talking to Edwards and he said "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." If aliens ever come to earth, we're getting invaded because as a whole, we do not represent intelligent life. It's all our fault too, because we put up with belligerent people in bathrooms who very likely cause us to lose our glasses.